Realities of Being a Self-Advocate: Part 3

Self-Advocate Bill Baxter.

The Arc Pikes Peak Region was recently honored to publish Self-Advocate Bill Baxter’s blog, “Realities of Being a Self Advocate: Part I” and “Realities of Being a Self-Advocate: Part 2.” We are pleased to continue this series in part 3, below. To learn more about or get involved with The Arc Pikes Peak Region’s group of self-advocates, Include USA, click here. 

Misconceptions about I/DD

As I mentioned earlier, being disabled means just what the word infers.* That is that there are limitations, more so than with people who don’t have disabilities. I also said that just because a person has I/DD (Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities), and has more limitations doesn’t mean the person can’t do anything.

One of the misconceptions with people who have I/DD or other disabilities is that people with I/DD have the same (or close to the same) limitations. This is completely false. For example, I have I/DD, as I was a forceps baby which rendered me Developmentally Disabled from birth, and I have Tourette Syndrome. These disabilities have made it pretty much impossible for me to have a soul mate or have any girlfriends. I will be 63 next month (October 11), and I have never been married. It wasn’t from lack of trying, believe me. I was engaged to be married a couple of years ago, but everything fell apart. Does this mean that everyone with I/DD can’t enjoy happiness with a soul mate, or have boyfriends or girlfriends? Certainly not! I have gotten to know others with disabilities in Colorado who have been happily married or have boyfriends or girlfriends. Some of them have children and grandchildren. My best friend was happily married for 30 years. He is widowed now. There are a lot of people with disabilities who have not been able to enjoy love relationships, but there are also a lot of people with disabilities who have.

Among the special population of people with disabilities, each individual’s limitations are UNIQUE. I have been told that whenever I express my views, I am very articulate. Does this mean that the lack of being articulate is NOT a limitation among the special population with disabilities? The answer is definitely no. A lot of people with I/DD are not articulate, but there are some who are. It is just like the fact that there are some people with I/DD who can’t enjoy love relationships, but there are a lot of people who are happily married or have meaningful relationships with the opposite sex. Again, it all depends on the individual.

Finding Your Unique Place as an Advocate

Quite often, people make the mistake of “lumping” other people with I/DD or other disabilities together when it comes to limitations. Back when I was in High School, faculty advisors felt I would never make it through college, and that I needed to consider Vocational Rehab being as a lot of people with I/DD can’t make it in college. As it turns out “Forrest Gump” isn’t all fiction.

There are some people with I/DD who do make it in college, and I turned out to be one of them. I graduated from Ohlone College with an Associate in Arts Degree in June 1977, and California State University East Bay with a Bachelor of Science Degree in August of 1979. Lumping people with disabilities and their limitations together, and thinking that ALL (or close to all) people with disabilities are not articulate, can’t make it in college, or can’t have relationships, also leads to prejudice thinking. Again, this is why Self-Advocacy is needed in America and other parts of the world. As far as each individual with I/DD or other disability goes, only he/she can be the judge of his or her own limitations.

If an individual with a disability feels he can achieve something and feels his disability won’t hold him back from obtaining his goal, he needs to be allowed to pursue that goal, and he needs to speak up for himself if he is bombarded by naysayers. Every individual is unique. Every individual has his own unique limitations and potentials. This goes for EVERYONE, not just people with disabilities.

*The views expressed in this blog are not endorsed by The Arc Pikes Peak Region and are the perspective of the author.